I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
