in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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