You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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