this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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