I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
