Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
