he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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