she was so not down for the gang bang
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
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