Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
