I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
