im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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