so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
