Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
