They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have fence marks all over my body
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
