I hate all girls vehemently.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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