you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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