If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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