So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
