Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize