how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
