24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
we should paint friendship bongs
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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