Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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