So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
People in love make me want to vomit
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
