So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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