i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
