READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
