How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
