I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
