I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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