So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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