OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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