Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
