nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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