Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
