dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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