I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
