Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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