I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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