We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
