Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
