Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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