JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
