Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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