So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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