I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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