Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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