You work out of a Hotel?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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