Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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