so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
This is my gift to your gina
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
