my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
