Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
