protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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