Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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