Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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