The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
