Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
