The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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