I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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