remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
