Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
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